The Golden Trio and the White Rabbit
by KTstoriesandstuff
Summary: The Golden Trio spot a white rabbit in a waist coat roaming the halls of Hogwarts and it leads them down a wormhole of insanity! Looks like they found the Hogwarts Plot Bunny!
1. I spy by my little eye, a plot bunny

**Disclaimer:** If I was JK Rowling, the whole Harry Potter series would be so much more random!

****Set during Prisoner of Azkaban

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**I spy, by my little eye, a PLOT BUNNY!**

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were trying to keep awake during History of Magic. Hermione took notes to keep herself awake and so the rest of the Golden Trio wouldn't fail out of that class altogether. Ron and Harry were playing Fantasy Quiddich on a piece of parchment. Hermione scowled at them and then looked up and gasped in surprise. A white rabbit in a waistcoat holding a pocket watch and was standing behind the ghost of Professor Binns. "Professor, there's something behind you, sir." Hermione said.

"Pardon me - Miss Gibbons?"

"Er- there's a rabbit in the room -" Hermione started, but the rabbit had moved closer to the classroom door. The rest of the class didn't seem fazed, and Professor Binns droned on.

"Pst - Ron, Harry, do you see that?" Hermione asked.

"No - Krum should _definitely_ be seeker - that would get the Irish into the playoffs!" Ron said to Harry. "What?" He looked over where Hermione was pointing. "Oh." He said. "That's weird."

"Well, looks like we're on a mission." Harry said. He pulled his Invisibility Cloak out of his pocket and threw it over the three of them. They inched to the side of the room and followed the white rabbit out the door.


	2. Hungry Plot Bunny

**Disclaimer:** If I was JK Rowling, the whole Harry Potter series would be so much more random!

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**Hungry Plot Bunny!**

"Ow, Ron! That's my foot!" Hermione yelped as the three trooped down the hallway. "I swear your feet are getting bigger every day!"

"Thanks, 'Mione!" Ron said cheerfully.

"She wasn't complimenting you, you prat!" Harry hissed. "Now where did that bloody rabbit get to?" He paused and saw the point of a furry ear sticking out from behind a tapestry. "There he is!" Harry pointed. As he was in the lead, he pulled back the tapestry."He went down a tunnel!" He gasped.

"Wicked! I wonder if Fred and George know about this - !" Ron yelped. He had been leaning into the tunnel before loosing his balance and falling in.

"RON!" Hermione yelped partially in fear and partially in exasperation. "C'mon, Harry." she jumped down and Harry followed. Of course, she was the one sensible enough to light her wand on the way down.

They landed in none other than the Hogwarts kitchen. "EXCELLENT! Food!" Ron grabbed the first thing he saw which was a large pumpkin pie.

"Ronald Weasly, we just had lunch!" Hermione yelled before pushing the pie up in his face. Soon an all out food among the Golden Trio and the house elves was in full scale. Harry was levitating onions and lobbing them, Ron was throwing whatever food he could get his hands on, and whatever he didn't eat first, and Hermione was making pumpkin juice shoot out of her wand.

"Oi! There's the rabbit again!" Ron said with his mouth full. The rabbit was nibbling on a carrot. He gave them a meaningful look and went running through the kitchen. "I guess we'd better get him." He said before letting out an almighty belch.


	3. Tick Tock

**Disclaimer:** If I was JK Rowling, the whole Harry Potter series would be so much more random!

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**Tick Tock!**

The plot bunny nudged the feet of the Golden Trio. It gave them a sly grin and pulled out its pocket watch. It chimed before a small voice said: _Tick Tock! Insanity around the clock! _He hopped out the door with the Golden Trio following closely behind. First place it stopped was the Great Hall where Mr. Filch was dancing on the tables holding Miss Norris and singing _. _Dumbledore walked by and enthusiastically applauded.

It then ran briefly into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom where Peeves and Moaning Myrtle were fighting over a plunger. The rabbit stopped to lap some water out of a sink before running off to the classrooms.

The first classroom he bounded into was Transfiguration. "Look! An anamagus!" Colin Creevy yelped. "It's a cute fluffy one like you, Professor McGonnagal! McGonnagal blushed a deep crimson before the rabbit ate one of her pieces of chalk. It bounded out before she could catch it.

It then went into Lupin's classroom. "Is _that_ the boggart?" Someone asked. Lupin chuckled.

"Well, unless someone is deathly afraid of rabbits - OH MY MERLIN!" Lupin yelped as the rabbit enlarged to 5 times its size and grew fangs. "Back - rabbit - I said _BACK!_I'm sorry I ate you by the shrieking shack I said SORRY!"

"Riddiculus!" Harry yelped. It became a dementor who tripped over his robe and then began to do backflips around the room while reciting limmericks. It morphed back into the plot bunny and knocked over a few chairs before running down the hall again.

"We have to stop that thing! It's disrupting classes!" Hermione said shrilly.

"We're just following it because it's _hilarious!"_ Ron replied with Harry laughing hysterically. "It's headed for the greenhouses!"


	4. Psychotic Bunny

**Psychotic Plot Bunny!**

"Maybe it's hungry again." Ron panted as the Trio reached the greenhouses. "I am." Hermione shot him a look.

"Hey guys! Do you want to see my Independent Study project?" Neville asked emerging behind a row of potted plants. "I'm the only third year accepted into the program!" He held up a bright orange and red mushroom. "This has properties that will - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He yelped as the Plot Bunny leaped up and nibbled about a square inch of flesh off the mushroom. "NOOOOOOO!" Neville yelped. "That thing's got twice the potency of no-doz combined with hallucinogens!" The rabbit's eyes dialated fully before it started bouncing aimlessly around the greenhouse knocking over plants.

"We're trying to stop it, mate!" Ron yelled. "OI! PSYCHOTIC BUNNY! GET! OUT!" Ron grabbed a shovel and chased the rabbit back out into the hall.

"Sorry, Neville!" Harry apologized hurriedly to his friend now covered in soil and leaves.

"That's ok!" Neville said.

The Trio saw two tall redheads walking down the hallway toward the bouncing hallucinating plot bunny. "Fred! George! Stop! That's a mad rabbit who ate a hallucinogenic mushroom!" Hermione cried. "We need to do something with it!" She stared pleadingly at the Weasly twins who looked at each other and said in unison:

"Excellent!"

_That's NOT the reaction I was looking for._ Hermione thought as Ron and Harry laughed. Fred and George guided the rabbit via their wands into the next classroom they could find.

"Now, the incantation is simply this: Hilario!" Professor Flitwick said flicking his wand to demonstrate a cheering charm. The spell hit the bouncing rabbit and it started giggling. "Oh my -" Flitwick said as the class of Hufflepuffs started laughing hysterically. The rabbit knocked Flitwick off his chair. "Bad rabbit!" He yelled. The rabbit bounced on Flitwick's chair still cackling.

"Sorry, Professor!" Hermione said. She managed to freeze the rabbit in it's motion and summon it to herself. It was still cackling madly. "We're trying to contain him." To her horror it started wiggling again. Apparently any spell cast at it only lasted 30 seconds.

"Give it here, 'Mione!" Ron said. "I know where to take it!" Ron grabbed the rabbit and wrapped it in his long arms. The Trio plus Fred and George went up to none other than the Divination tower. "Give her hell, Plot Bunny!"

The plot bunny jumped out of Ron's arms and the first thing he did was knock over the little tea tables around the room. Though Hermione cringed at the sound of breaking china, she was relieved she wouldn't have to read tea leaves for a while. Professor Trelawney was sitting at a round table holding a large crystal ball and practicing her lecture when the bunny stopped under the table. As it had run for quite a while and had drank a bit of water beforehand, he did the only natural thing: lifted his leg and relieved himself on the table and Trelawney's clothes. She screamed and knocked her crystal ball off the table. "Sorry, Professor!" Harry called. "We tried to stop him from coming up here, but we figured you'd see him coming anyway!" Trelawny opened her mouth to retort when Fred and George bribed the rabbit over with a carrot seconds before the five of them disappeared below the trapdoor.


	5. Bad Plot Bunny

**Bad Plot Bunny!**

The rabbit hopped behind another canvas and the five students had no choice but to follow it. They all yelped as they slid down a very long smooth stone slide. "WE'RE GOING INTO THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS!" Ron wailed in horror.

"No we're _not, _Ron! That opened in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom!" Harry replied. They all landed on top of each other with a _whump _and several cries of "Ow!"

"Where are we?" George asked.

"No idea, Forge." Fred replied before sighing dramatically "If only you had our map."

"Yes, but it's hidden under _your_ socks, Gred." George retorted.

"Never mind where we are - WHERE'S THAT BLOODY RABBIT?" Ron yelled as he cast a _lumos. _

_"POTTER! WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN IS THIS RABBIT DOING IN HERE? I DEMAND YOU GET IN HERE_ **NOW!"** Harry blanched. The students knew _exactly_ where the rabbit had gone. They followed the voice of the screaming professor to the dungeons.

"Afternoon, Sir Snivelly Snape of Slytherin." Fred (or George) said at the door. "You seem to have a rabbit problem." He dodged a hex sent his way. The others followed him into the dungeons. Snape was standing in the center of his lab coated with potion. A cauldron was overturned on the floor, and the Plot Bunny was hopping around still oblivious to the world.

"EXPLAIN YOURSELF POTTER!" Snape roared.

"We were trying to catch the thing." Snape flicked his wand and a net flew out of it encasing the rabbit. But before he could turn to smirk at Harry, the bunny chewed through the cords. "Spells don't work on it, sir."

"We - we were thinking you could help, sir." Hermione said suddenly. "See, when charms fail on containing a bit of magic, potions can sometimes be used as a remedy."

"Indeed, Miss Granger." Snape said. He reached down and tried to catch the bunny who found his long nose looking rather like a pale fat carrot. Snape screamed as the rabbit teeth clamped down on his nose.

"BAD RABBIT! BAD!" Hermione cried. Harry, Ron, and the Weasly twins were too busy cracking up to help. She wrestled the rabbit off of Snape and began dunking it in the potion that still remained in the overturned cauldron. The waistcoat disappeared and the rabbit was an ordinary rabbit who walked on all fours versus sometimes on two legs. It blinked and hopped around the lab looking somewhat dazed. "There."

"Ten points to Gryffindor. Now OUT! ALL OF YOU!" Snape yelled. Hermione reached down to pick up the rabbit. "LEAVE IT, Miss Granger!" She put it down tentatively. "Er - in it's non-magical state - it is - shall I say - quite adorable." Harry, Ron, and the Weasly twins hoped more plot bunnies were lurking around Hogwarts to provide them with more adventures and possibly more house points!

**The End!**

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Hope you all enjoyed :)

If you feel like writing a sequel, go ahead! Just cite this story somewhere :)


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